Living Life in the Rearview Mirror

Life in the Rearview Mirror

Driving gets us from here to there. It's a necessary thing to be able to do if we want to be able to get to work, school, or anywhere really. Noticing all the instruments in the car, we can't help but notice the mirrors, in particular, the rearview mirror. What I know about this mirror is that if you spend too much time looking into it, you run the risk of a crash. That mirror is necessary to help us get where we are going but we can't spend too much time looking behind us. 

Relating this to our health and happiness, let's consider how many of us live our lives in the past or what I like to think of as living our lives in the rearview mirror. It might be the ruminating we do about things in our childhoods that upset us, or maybe you ruminate over smaller things like the failed attempt to get that raise last month or having your idea adopted by your workgroup. For others, it can be the conversation you had with a friend or family member that ended with you not talking to each other years ago.

Whatever the negative memory, you roll the scene over and over in your mind, replaying what you said and what they said, and what you should have said in response and you find yourself going deeper and deeper into the emotion caused by that negative experience.   
 

Judging the Past

The past is the past but for whatever reason, we feel compelled to label it "good or bad" based on our experiences. But truthfully, our past experiences, good and bad, make us who we are today. Focusing too much on negative experiences though can have a significant impact on our present and future. It can lead to chronic negative thought patterns, feelings of anxiety and depression, and even physical health problems. The constant replaying of negative thoughts about the past can lead to self-doubt, self-criticism, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. 

The Cumulative Effects

Chronic negative thought patterns have the potential to turn into anxiety and depression. They can make us feel like we are stuck in the past - unable to move on. The focus on the negative can create difficulty concentrating and a lack of motivation. 

Research has shown that, on a physical level, focusing on negative past experiences can wreak havoc on our bodies. The chronic stress of focusing on the negative past can lead to high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, and even heart disease. So, I ask you, "Is it worth it?"

Stopping the Cycle

It's important to know that we can learn from the past. The person we are this very minute is made up of all the minutes that have come before - negative and positive. It's how we choose to react to those negative experiences that matters for our overall physical, mental, and emotional health.

If you want to have a better present and future, let's start to stop the cycle. We can do that by recognizing when we start to ruminate on the past. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel - this part matters - then begin to reframe the situation by focusing on the present moment, asking yourself, "Was there anything positive that might have come out of what I experienced?" Also, ask yourself how you can use the experience to continue to develop into a strong and resilient human being. 

As a Yoga Therapist, I might also suggest that you find time to nurture yourself. Often, negative past experiences hurt, and the wounds can take a long time to heal. Find joy in the small things in life - right here and right now - as you work through the past. Lean on good friends or family members who are willing to listen and not judge, journal to get the experience out of your head and onto paper, and find a Yoga teacher or therapist who can support you as well. 

 Be well dear Yogis and don't forget that you are amazing. 

Namaste-